Press the Flesh II: Small Talk

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The Lion’s Pride: Networking

Press the Flesh II: Small Talk

Whether meeting someone for the first time or at a follow-up meeting, what you say can determine your success. When on safari for a new job, success often hinges on how well you connect with your contacts. And connecting happens during the first impression.

How long does it take? Look at ten studies and you’ll likely get ten different answers. Some will say the first 20 seconds, some will say the first 15. Others will say as long as 30 seconds.

The point is, you don’t have a lot of time to make a connection. That’s why small talk is so important.

So what do you say to build rapport in a short period of time?

Do you mind if I’m a geek for a moment? I was introduced to someone at a wedding. He had an electronic camera, and I was in the market to buy one. After shaking and exchanging names, I asked him if he minded me being a geek. He face was quizzical, but gave me the go-ahead. So I asked him about his camera’s specs. After discussing the fine points of megapixels and battery life, we started talking about work. As a result of that first meeting, we still stay in touch.

Oh – do you know…? This is a classic that never seems to go out of style. It loosely follows the six degrees of separation myth (everyone is connected by no more than six steps). If you know someone from that person’s town, ask if s/he knows him/her. Ditto if you know somebody who works for the same company. Taken to the Nth degree, I used this technique on a trip to Russia (we used pop culture references and cheat sheet Russian and English).

I renovated my bathroom. Most businesspeople own (or have owned) property. When you mention a home repair or renovation, you’ll inevitably tap a vein in the other person. Listen carefully and you can either bond over renovation mishaps or trade tips. You may even get a lead on a contractor. The important point, though, is that you’ll bond over this small talk.

Two “DO NOT” items when making small talk:

Hot enough for you? Talking about the weather is cliché. In fact, it’s such a cliché that people will assume you’re trying to build rapport and may, as a result, mentally close the door on you.

Elevator speech. Leading with your prepared 20 second verbal resume shows you’re all about “me me me.” It also shows you’re only in it for job prospects. Definite bad form.

IN THE CARAVAN: Small talk, properly used, can make a good first impression. And that’s something solid you can build upon for networking purposes.

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Business Card Pack Rats / Gump-Style Networking / Becoming the Hub Increases Your Brand / Becoming the Hub II: Building Self-Feeding Buzz / Myths and Truisms / Grow Your Network - Go Where The Employers Are! / It's Not What You Know... / Always Be Prepared...Even If You're Not a Boy Scout / How to Make Six Degrees of Separation Work (Even If You're Not Kevin Bacon) / Marketing and Branding Yourself, Part I / Branding II: Your Website or Blog / Finding the Right Contact Person / Give a Little to Get a Little / Why Join Organizations? / First Contact With Mr. Smith, Part 1 / First Contact With Mr. Smith, Part 2: The Winning of The Sally / First Contact With Mr. Smith, Part 3: First Impressions / Asking Mr. Smith for Help, Part 1 / Asking Mr. Smith for Help, Part II: It's Not the Song, It's the Singer / Asking Mr. Smith for Help, Part III: Getting down to business / Networking at Job Fairs / Doing It On the Road / Networking Online / Getting Info From Sally & Co., Part I / Getting Info From Sally & Co., Part II: Asking The Right Questions / Networking Out of Town Part I: Laying the Foundation / Networking Out of Town Part II: Touring for Interviews / Working the Network by Feeding the Network / 'Running' Into Contacts / You Only Get What You Ask For / Press the Flesh II: Small Talk / Press the Flesh Like a Pro / Playing the Percentages / Fishing and the Right Bait / Shrek Style / Get Your Butterflies Flying In Formation / Discover Other People’s Passions / Double Dipping Doing Good / Overbooking Your Way to a New Job / Shaking the Branches of Your Family Tree / Working Your Reunion / Parents of Your Kids' Friends