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In
the first part of this series, we
discussed the three paragraph cover letter formula. Today, we'll
delve into the actual wording of the first paragraph.
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WARNING: After reading this, you may think you have to be a phonics geek
to write a good cover letter. Relax. You can do this.
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First Paragraph
From Hell:
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"Please
except this cover letter and the enclosed resume as my expressed interest
in joining ABC Inc. as a Auditor. I would
like to learn more."
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I see this quite
often. Unfortunately, there are too many mistakes on it for many HR
reps and hiring managers to get past.
The misspelling. "Except" means "to
exclude." You certainly don't want that to happen.
"Accept" is the proper spelling and meaning ("to
receive"). This is a misspelling that would not be caught
by your spell checker.
The clarifiers. Use "an"
to clarify nouns beginning with a vowel. In the example above, it
should read "an Auditor." Only use "a"
before a noun if the noun begins with a consonant.
The problems with this run deeper. The paragraph asks the
reader to accept the cover and resume as your expressed interest.
This comes across as convoluted: accepting two nouns as a verb
equivalent? It doesn't read - or sound - right. Nouns equal nouns,
and verbs equal verbs.
Other problems. In the example above, there is no mention
where you heard about the job, nor what department the Auditor position is
in. Employers want to know where their advertising dollars are going,
so you should mention where you found the posting or through what channels
you heard about the opening. Additionally, if the posting or
networking contact mentions the department and/or requisition number for
the position, you should mention that, as well.
GRAMMARIAN GEEK
ALERT: The phrase "I would
like to" should be banned from the English language forever; it's far
too wishy-washy and passive and sounds like it should be followed by the
word “..but…” If you want to do something, do it - this is a more confident and
active way to go (see the example below).
GRAMMARIAN GEEK ALERT
II: You don't need to mention
your resume in the first paragraph. This is a redundancy which can
adversely affect the facts and take up valuable space. The person
reading your cover letter knows s/he is reading a cover letter,
which, by definition covers an enclosure. And s/he knows the
enclosure contains a resume. Feel free to mention the resume and
other enclosures, however, in the third paragraph (which we'll get to in subsequent
Monday posts).
Improved Example
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"I am
quite interested in the Auditor position (#8675) posted on your company
website. The position seems to match my skills and experience well,
and I am interested in learning more."
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In this example, note
that the requisition number and location of the posting are
mentioned. Notice also that you mention your interest in a confident
and active manner. Of course, there are variations you can use to
accomplish the same feat, but the second example is an excellent template
to follow.
IN THE CARAVAN: In the first paragraph of your cover letter,
make sure to mention the position, department or requisition number, where
you learned of the opening, as well as your interest. Watch your spelling
and grammar, too.
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bSafari.c
The Lion’s Pride: Resumes